Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
