Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
