some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
