I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
