hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
