So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
