Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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