Farmville is her only friend.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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