Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
