Define "chronic" masturbator.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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