Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
