Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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