May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
