plz talk dirty to me
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize