I hate all girls vehemently.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize