Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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