bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
