Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm lost and stupid without you.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
