I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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