I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
