just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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