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Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
