Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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