K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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