Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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