I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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