This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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