Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
