I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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