she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
