At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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