i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
no you cant smoke seaweed
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
