the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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