What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
