singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
