i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
