Apparently you make a good broom.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
