theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
