Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
