I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
