Pappa wants mamma naked
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
