Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
