I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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