She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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