did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
