Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
