i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
