Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
