you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
