I heard we made out
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
