my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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