All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
