have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
