Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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