the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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