moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize