Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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