does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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