He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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