All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
