He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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