yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize