She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
