we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
