just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
4 words: hood of his car
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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