Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
