We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
