You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize