we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
