if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
