sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize