did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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