this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
