the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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