Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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